Monday, March 19, 2007

Fart Jokes - The New Black


So I'm giving Megan her shower tonight, and we're singing silly songs. One of her new favorites is a song called "Boots" by her very most favorite singer in the entire universe who I think she would almost trade me in for, Laurie Berkner. In the song, they spell out the word boots with every verse, and then sing about different kinds of boots, and Megan sings and spells along merrily.

She has also as of late begun to spell and figure out words spelled aloud- we can't spell nap, cookies and most of the other words we could get away with communicating over her head. With this new spelling fixation, she has started randomly throwing letters together to try and spell things herself. "T - R - L - S - P! Milk!" she shouts randomly. "Andy! R - F - L - T - P! Stop that!"

So, what do these two things have to do with anything? Well, combine this new song with her adventures in spelling, and after she had spelled BOOTS a few times, she started monkeying with how many Os to put in, and then started changing the starting letter. Inevitably, she got to the letter T, and spelled out TOOTS. Now, I am not mature by any means when it comes to my sense of humor. I love a good fart joke as much as the next idiot. So, when she spelled this word, my basest of all reflexes kicked in and I started to laugh so hard I snorted.

Every parent knows that is the biggest mistake you can ever make. It has two-fold repercussions: One, you have just reinforced toilet humor. Two, you have just inked a deal with your child to repeat this joke until you kill yourself from the insanity of it repeating, over and over, ad nauseam and then some.

But if you could have heard her giggling after she shouted the word "TOOTS!" at the top of her lungs in the shower, the staccato of the consonants echoing in the perfect acoustics of the bathroom shower, you would have forgotten the consequences just like I did and laughed right along with her.

6 comments:

kip said...

At least we had the common sense to reinforce with her that jokes like "T-O-O-T-S. Toots!" is funny and OK at home, but that it is inappropriate at school. We are not being completely remiss in our parenting.

Oh, and I got to comment before Jesse. Yea me!

Kari said...

Yes, but we told her that AFTER I had spent 30 minutes snorting and guffawing at her every time she would look up with those big blue eyes, spell TOOTS, then when I asked what it spelled she'd shout "TOOTS!" and then we'd both laugh like total idiots.

Completely remiss, no. Not completely.

Jesse said...

Is a husband and wife commenting to each other via one of their blogs the same weird/lameness as roomates in college IMing each other across the room? Cuz I think it is.

And Kip - you just got lucky this time........ :-)

kip said...

Jesse, you are slipping. Commenting a whole day late. Wow!

Anyway, I wouldn't know about this roommate IMing thing. There was no IM back when I was in college. This is what the internet looked like during my college years:

www.slac.stanford.edu/history/
earlyweb/history.shtml

Jesse said...

yeah, i know. i'd have posted sooner but i've been stuck in gouge-my-eyeballs-out-with-a-ballpoint-pen-boring class all day. no joke, i've fallen asleep at least 7 times a day this week. whoops. but i also don't have a computer at my disposal like normal, so interweb access is harder to come by. damnit just one more day of this class. the only thing that effectively keeps me awake is chewing, which is why i've eaten my bodyweight in the free pastries, pasta, salad, cookies, fruit, juice, soda, cookies, popcorn, and cookies they pamper us with all day.

Kari said...

So, is commenting on someone else's blog to another person in conversation totally unrelated to the blog entry as bad as a husband and wife commenting to one another via their blog? I'm trying to develop a hierarchy of lameness...