Friday, March 16, 2007


In the past few nights I have experienced the following while asleep:

  • Been stuck in my friend Bob's apartment with his new wife, a girl I went to high school with, who keeps showing me her body piercings that are below the waist and telling me how she had to have a C-Section to deliver Bob's baby because all the jewelry "was in the way"
  • Been bitten at the Emmys while gay-bashing BJ Novak (from NBC's "The Office") who I am pretty sure is straight, all while witnessing a plot to drive Arnold Schwarzenegger from being driven insane by Hollywood idiots with Blackberries posing as FBI agents
  • Been on a date with Michael C. Hall (from Showtime's "Dexter") that starts out on the beach where I am sunbathing topless, and ends with him ripping all his clothes off in some strange and angry strip-tease

I swear I don't do drugs. Honest. I know my subconscious loves to f*ck with me, and for some reason I let it.


Jesse said...

well, HELLO!

Kari said...

*crossing arms over chest and looking nervous*
Uh, hello!